you fucked me good

like a read receipt that creeps
on the corner of every virtual textual transaction,

you cannot erase this relationship.
you cannot evade the effects of correspondence.

if you try,
it sinks its teeth deeper
on the repressed side of your heart
like an anti-rape condom.

well,
you fucked me.

you fucked me good.

but not even a doctor
can help you now.

Advertisements

The Greatest

Are you my greatest love?
My love,
How can I know if you are?

How can I ascertain in the stars
That a latent kiss does not linger
On someone else’s lips

Despite the boundless skies
I am confined within your headspace

Yet I am happy to,
I am willing to,-
I sacrifice this
For your grace.

But how can I prove that you
Will not do as the other lovers do?

I anticipate the deception
As much as the pain
and gloom.

Or have I already had this love,
Have already lost
The best of the best?

These thoughts often plague my mind
With sadness and regret.

My love,
You have my trust now,
And I hope you do not let it die.

To leave me
Once again, on my knees
Pleading to god,
“Oh why?”

To take away my joy
With a block of text
In the blink of a shifty eye.

You are my greatest love
I want to say,
But I wonder
How many tears I will cry

When you go onwards
Having broken my soul,
Having said
our final goodbyes.

When two exes talk

The sensation of a gloveless winter walk
Emerges when two exes talk
Like being caught cold in rain
Or when the ice freezes the brain

A disconnect, that does not work
A helplessness that does berserk
It does not permit itself be made
And so the feelings only fade

I look at you and feel a haze
I know you will not meet my gaze
Rejected from the hopeful daze,
Dejected in a hurtful craze.

Searching fruitless in your face
For remnants of this old love’s trace.
I know now hot we reached this place-
Do you ever miss my warm embrace?

We chat like strangers who’ve just met,
I ruminate a previous bet:
You asked me not to break you heart-
On mine you’ve made a glaring start.

Indifferent seeming, plain and frank
A past me would think this all a prank
You were an angel, praised a saint-
A mere façade, a coat of pain

Destroying me with honesty
Forgetting all you learned of me
Awestruck, I still cannot believe-
You reflect this as a queer reprieve.

You held me close, and hugged me tight
Remembered as a sad respite.
I will a friendship, all despite
Restraining tears with all my might.

Proof of how history repeats,
I flame a smoke and take a seat
I peer inside to check my soul,-
Just ashes of a dying coal.

You loved me once, you don’t deny
You current self is stupefied
Our bond you attempt to forget,
It does not fit the life you set.

I leave you, for it hurts to stay
To understand this game you’ve played.
The aim was never to deceive
Yet it’s precisely what you achieved.

I depart your ruse,
Exit the grift
Take what’s left,
Accept the shift.

You’ve killed a part of me you knew.
The one I grew together with you.
In time you’ll realise what is true;
That you were young,
Lonely. Confused.

That you were afraid,
Thoughtless. A prude.
The fault was yours-
The problem was you.

And you must live with the consequence
of the choices that you choose.