FanPoetry: Let Me

Still about Carol (2015) dir. Todd Haynes. If you don’t know what that is, please go to tumblr and search the “Carol Movie” tag. If you feel like feeling more than you’ve felt in a long time, find it in the nearest cinema and prepare to be a ball of red hot emotion. This is from Therese’s POV. 

carol-2015-poster

Let me hold you like a corset
For the thought of you makes it hard to breathe
I’ll caress you like a duvet cover
Unbearable sleep if you are not wrapped around me

Let me wear you like a hat
Be always intimate with my thoughts
which silently burst with love for you in every passing trance

I’ll stroke you like a fur coat
Deliciously decadent and essential to my pleasure, which only gushes profusely with proximity to you

Let me fill the spaces between us like newspaper-stuffed shoes,
We have found the perfect fit and we shall venture to places together we never knew

Allow me to know how you like your eggs done in the morning, or how you like your tea. How you cross your shoelaces when you tie them, or whether or not you use coasters….tell me every banal detail of your preferences so I may notice how the brief nuances of my existence collide with your style of living

I know I would be useless in hardships we individually face, but let my intentions be enough to soothe your anxieties the way a cup of camomile tea can…never let you go to bed without a comforting touch to defend your dreams from nightmares

I’ll be there, on the end of every line you stutter, fluttering out of you like uncertainty always does.

I’ll never fail to answer to your calls, for I have long since fallen,
unabashed and enthralled
Finally seeing for the first time why people adore the autumn and heartbreak

I don’t want you to buy me anything
Just gift me your time
Your efforts
Your side-gazes
Watch me walk away like I watch you
Your present is your being
Being mine
For I am already yours
So it’s only fair
That I get to share this with no one else

I am full of wealth and golden moments preserved in a bank of memories that I couldn’t forget even if stolen away and tainted
If only the times,
If only our friends and acquaintances could understand: “how could there possibly be anything less organic than this magnetic pull against all odds. It does not simply happen nor is it wrong. It merely “is.”
And so are we.

This is no fallacy of reasoning
A murderous desire for affection towards you
At you
On you
Cannot seem to do much without you in mind
Every second reminds me
To talk to you
To think of you
To blink and hope in the millisecond of darkness and boring residence in a fragment of life which you do not inhibit, that you would appear suddenly, half-smiling like you always do…bemused..

I think you always knew the second that I looked onto the blue satin scarf that blew in the wind when I met you
My future was seen through its transparent cloth and tied to a future that followed you wherever the air behind lingered

I’m simply wrapped around your finger, your eyelashes and luscious lips trick my senses into abandoning all wit to freeze over like winter season does to fully grown trees…filling the floor with dead leaves so there’s room for new entrances and hope for a fresh beginning…

Let me hold you
For support
For warmth
For it is the only freedom we can taste in this society which is not yet ready to accept us outrightly
For I would like nothing more than to broadcast to the universe and the sun that favours your shadow of my infinitesimal love
For you

For no one can tell me this feeling isn’t gargantuan in strength and size
Nor flawed in its conception
Though I’m well aware to live with apprehension
In order to maintain this status quo
In which our woes are born and raised with discrimination and rejection
But I would rather suffer a hundreds times more
this kind of subjection
if it meant that I could have you in my arms even for one second.
Have the flesh yolks of my hand merge with yours and allow a spring of passion to erupt

I so surely knew what it was when I first saw you
Though its name I did not recognise
For I had never felt it before,
And though the world may never know
We shall keep this love as intimate as a secret
To keep it safe
Keep us binded in our fates sealed together in confidentiality
For all that matters
Is between you and me
Should everything come full circle,
And we do.

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